TITLE: Marking His Territory
AUTHOR: Samiam (Sampi...@aol.com)
RATING: PG
ARCHIVE: Just tell me where to send the child support payments
FEEDBACK:  I'll beg if needed
SPOILERS: uuh .. yeah ... sure pre-Quagmire maybe :-)
DISCLAIMERS: I didnt use any names .. do I still need to write one of these?

***********

I hate him.

I hate everything about him.  I hate the way he smells, the way he
eats, the way he looks at her.

Yappy, annoying, attention mongering bastard.

He's always whining or whimpering about something just to get her
attention and he is always underfoot.  I wish she would just get rid
of him.

She's MINE, damnit!

I was here first and he can't have her.  I'd piss in all the corners just
so he remembers this is my domain but that would only bring me
down to his level and make her mad at me.  It gets cold and lonely
on that couch.  I'd much rather be in bed with her.

Male bonding with him proved to be absolutely useless.  You just
can't make males of his species understand the sacred bond she
and I share.

I even tried reasoning with him on his own level once but I don't think
she appreciated the growling.  That and I couldn't tell which one of
us she was laughing at.

Plus, He makes a lousy pet.  He's always tracking dirt or water all
over the floor and he can't seem to make it through a day without
getting into some kind of trouble.  Not to mention all the trips to the
doctors.  Besides, I'm ten times cuter than he is.  There is no way
she'd ever choose him over me.

She keeps talking about how intelligent he is but if he was all that
smart, you'd think he'd get a clue that I was the one she wanted.  
After all, I am the one that gets to share her bed at night.  I'm the
one that gets to cuddle up on the couch with her while she runs her
fingers through my fur (and it feels so good when she rubs my belly)

I've got to do something to show him that I am the Alpha male here,
and soon.  Before this infatuation he has with her goes too far and
he becomes a permanent fixture in her life.  I just need to pick my
moment.  Obviously I can't do anything at home.

Maybe this road trip we're on will yield the perfect opportunity.  Yeah,
I can feel it.  We'll be parting ways soon.  In the meantime, I wonder
how he'd feel if I left him a little present behind his seat.

*******

heh .. "Poor Queequag"

I'm taking the 5th here ... blame bcfan.